TANTRIC RELATIONSHIPS FUNDAMENTALS

Wherever we are, whether at work, in a bar, or in a supermarket, we hear people complaining about their relationships, about the bitterness and frustration they experience in their relationships.

 

In earlier times, a relationship served as a survival mechanism; as a single person, you had little chance of survival. The more hostile the environment, the larger the social unit around you: this could be the tribe or the extended family you were part of.

The easier, safer, and more comfortable life becomes, the smaller the social structure around humans. So small, in fact, that nowadays we have one-on-one relationships. Individualization is still on the rise. People increasingly see themselves as autonomous individuals rather than part of a family, tribe, or village. We think we are becoming more independent, but nothing could be further from the truth.

No one is independent and stands alone. Every person depends on the work and talents of thousands of people who produce everything: clothing, houses, cars, food, etc.

A ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP, A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE PARTNER, IS ENERGETICALLY AN UNNATURAL CONCEPT AND DOES NOT ALIGN WITH THE TRUE ENERGETIC NATURE OF HUMANS.

To avoid a long and unnecessary discussion, I will prove this right away:
If a one-on-one relationship were our true energetic nature, we would not have the need to “cheat,”, we will not fall in love with another person, or want to have relationships with multiple partners. Our behavior and actions are proof that a monogamous relationship contradicts our true energetic nature.

Note:

I am writing about “our true energetic nature,” not about our mental thoughts, ideas, beliefs, faith, norms and values, programs, fears, and wishes. “Be happy with what you have,” was the message from our (great) grandparents to our parents. “You have a man, he brings money in, the bills are paid, you have a roof over your head, and the children are healthy.” In other words, “Don’t complain.”

IS THIS REALLY YOUR DESIRED RELATIONSHIP? IS THIS REALLY THE LIFE YOU WANT? ARE YOU HONEST WITH YOURSELF?

When a man takes care of one woman, all his resources go to this one woman and their children. She does not have to share the man, his talents, assets, energy, attention, and money with other women. This increases the woman’s chances of survival as well as the illusion of safety for both herself and their joint children.

This relatively new concept of a monogamous relationship carries an invisible disadvantage. In some cultures, women are isolated, both mentally (she is expected to study to a certain level or her school and career choices are limited), physically (she is expected to adhere to certain dress codes), and socially (the woman is expected to be at home and take care of the household and upbringing).

In the West, women are expected to transform into “Wonder-Women.”

Women are expected to combine their natural motherhood with work (often outside the home), earning money, developing in society, etc. Women have a natural need to share their emotions, thoughts, and experiences with other women. This also applies to their motherhood. Women need each other to live in emotional, mental, and physical balance. In the West, the ancient “sisterhood” has almost disappeared. Her need to have a one-on-one relationship with a man has isolated her and removed her from her sisters. We all feel the results of this.

The relationship is seen and presented as a practical, promising product that is supposed to fulfill certain needs. Divorces were rare in the first half of the 20th century, and women have to fight very hard for their rights, freedom, and equality to this day.

By the fact that a monogamous relationship began to be seen as the prevailing norm, people started talking about ‘cheating’ (which essentially means ‘naturally’ or ‘normally cheating’). The prohibition against cheating is so deeply ingrained in us, due to upbringing and religion.

The one-on-one relationship is, as mentioned, an unnatural energetic concept, but the following concept is the worst and the biggest troublemaker: Linking a one-on-one relationship to happiness! This results in you always seeking happiness in both your current and future relationships, and you will be convinced that your relationship is responsible for your happiness.

Why is this concept so harmful?

When you link a relationship to happiness, you are essentially saying, “Without a relationship, I am not happy.” Or “I am only happy when I have a relationship.”

The connection of a relationship to happiness is a brilliant concept that has a huge impact on our lives and our economy. The largest companies have adopted this concept; look at Coca Cola, Marlboro, McDonald’s, and iPhone. They link the possession of their product to an increase in your happiness.

How do you react to this harmful concept?

• Unconsciously, you accept the idea that a relationship can and should make you happy.
• You remain stuck in your relationship because you keep hoping for the happiness you are looking for (but this is an illusion!)
• There is a high chance that you experience your relationship in silent despair: “Tomorrow will be better…”
• There is growing disharmony, anger, frustration, bitterness, and/or aggression between you and your partner.
• You create unrealistic expectations and beliefs regarding your relationship.
• You place the responsibility on your partner to fulfill many of your needs, such as your need for sexual satisfaction, emotional satisfaction, intellectual satisfaction, financial security, being happy, etc. This means that you refuse to be 100% responsible for the content, quality, and impact of your life on yourself, but also on others.
• New, more efficient, harmonious, and contemporary types of relationships are being developed and practiced by younger generations. See the growing popularity of polygamous relationships. Polygamy (poly = many, gamos = marriage) is a form of relationship in which one person has a relationship with two or more people simultaneously.
• A rapidly growing group of young people (up to 30 years old) is distancing itself from the old concept of relationships and shows less interest in sexual acts within, but also outside of the relationship. Instead, they are focusing more and more on self-growth and awareness and on their sexuality. Self-knowledge replaces relationships with others, and exploring their sexuality replaces sex. The latter causes sleepless nights for many leaders and governments. Birth rates show a declining trend. The younger generation has significantly less need for and interest in sex and shows a growing interest in gender identity and sexuality.
• Many studies show that in the West, most people’s preference is for a relationship with a primary partner, with the possibility, legitimacy, and freedom to have parallel sexual, emotional, and intellectual relationships with others.

The truth is that nothing from the outside can make us happy. Happiness, joy, safety: they grow from the inside out. Our ‘raw materials’ grow from within. Happiness, joy, and safety are a direct result of your self-manifestation and your independent inner peace and harmony.

Every disagreement or argument with our partner is always a direct result of our need to be happy in general and especially within our relationship. Naturally, we first direct our focus to our partner. Where have all his/her beautiful promises gone? … In our heads! We have created unrealistic expectations regarding our relationship. That is what it is all about.

Attention

A common complaint from partners about their relationship is the lack of attention; the lack of being seen, heard, and understood.

Attention is a way in which we evaluate ourselves. Attention is our mirror: “Who are we, how do we do something?” But especially: “How does the other respond to us?”

Most people react hostilely to individuals who ask for attention. This is because, as children, we likely did not receive the attention we asked for and needed.

Parents often respond with irritation to their children’s requests for attention. Children often ask for attention. This is how they get to know themselves; they learn to evaluate themselves and learn to adapt to the expectations, norms, and values of their parents, caregivers, and society.

Parents who often themselves severely lack attention (read: have a need for attention) experience their children’s demand for attention as very exhausting and unwanted. “How dare they ask for my attention so often? Can’t they see that I am busy, that I have a life too? That there is more to life than constantly taking care of the children?”

Asking for attention is therefore not self-evident and often not allowed. In many families and relationships, the natural human need for attention, especially the children’s need for attention, is seen as a sign of an unwanted and disturbing need. This causes most people to hunger for attention, and they will do anything to get it.

This leads us to believe that we should get the lack of attention from our parents from our partner.

Hostility

There is invisible hostility from women towards men and vice versa. Women are energetically dependent on men by nature because he can fill her emptiness. I am not writing about ideas here, but about Universal Energetic Laws, about Yin and Yang, about Shiva and Shakti. If we are dependent on someone, we cannot truly love that person because he or she symbolizes our shortcomings. Women often have to beg or manipulate to get attention from men. They do this unwittingly and are often not fully aware that they are doing this. It is (provocatively) comparable to a junkie who loves his/her dealer as long as the dealer comes with good stuff. And if the dealer no longer delivers good stuff? Then we look for another dealer…

There are two possibilities to experience the illusion of ‘happiness’ in your relationship are:

1. To have a relationship with a happy person. He or she finds happiness within themselves. He or she does not need your attention. He or she can teach you how to experience happiness within yourself. To get enough attention, you need a partner who does not need attention; he or she never feels lacking and is willing to give attention without limits and frustration and without wanting anything in return.

2. By developing happiness within yourself.

MAHA KUNDALINI TANTRA & RELATIONSHIPS

Maha Kundalini Tantra approaches a relationship from the Universal Laws of Energy. A relationship is an energetic mechanism. The nature of every energy is to want to manifest itself through movement, flow, vibration. If you block this energy, you create energetic stagnation. Stagnation causes misery on physical, mental, and emotional levels. A relationship should flow, from the inside out.

When you see your relationship as a junk-dealer relationship, you create energetic stagnation and your relationship will never be able to flow.

A Tantric Relationship is anchored in the Universal Laws, not in human desires. Universal Laws relate to harmonious or disharmonious energy.

Disharmony creates pain and unrest in humans. Harmony creates joy and peace in humans.

What we can do with our life energy:

• produce
• hold
• spread
• contract
• charge
• discharge

transform into different types of energy (for example, sexual energy, materialized energy, mental energy, etc.)

This means that:

1. Energetically speaking, a relationship is an ongoing and growing dialogue between 2 energetic structures that seek a mutually energetic harmonious flow.

2. Everything that partners think, say, do and share grows from the intention and need to achieve the top goal.

3. The partners share the same need.

4. The partners will no longer see each other as a “happiness maker” or as a “happiness destroyer”.

5. Every thought, emotion, word or act of the partners involves the need to perform one or more of the above mentioned energetic qualities (see No. 1). If you see your relationship as an energetic dialogue, a new world will open up for you.

If you will observe your own nature and behavior, chances are that you will realize that you experience most people and events in your life in the same way as “happy-makers” or “lucky destroyers”.

The steps to a Tantric Relationship are in the following order:

1. Self-love. Self-love is anchored in inner harmony. Inner harmony is anchored in living according to Universal Laws, not according to norms and values, religions, or any other opinion.

2. Self-manifestation. Actively use all your talents with the aim of manifesting yourself as fully as possible.

3. Mutual encouragement. Support, encourage and encourage each other to perform numbers 1 and 2 at all costs, at the cost of all your expectations.

4. Joint event. This is the most important and the essence of a Tantric relationship! Collectively use the numbers 1, 2, and 3 to give to someone or something outside the relationship.

The essence lies in how you use the relationship.  A relationship with no external purpose, which does not connect the talents of both of you for the benefit of anything or someone outside the relationship, will eventually die. A Tantric relationship makes a difference in the lives of others, not just in your life.

An example of questions you can ask yourself in order to use your love for the benefit of the whole world:

• How can I use my relationship to do good with my family members, acquaintances, friends and humanity as a whole?
• What qualities and abilities should I develop in my relationship in order to achieve this?
• How and in what way does my relationship increase harmony in my environment?

  Tantra in general and Maha Kundalini Tantra in particular highlights the importance of practicing tantric techniques with one main partner.

  The aim is to support and encourage the couple’s collaborative and harmonious dialogue, energetic development and spiritual awareness.

  Practicing with another or more partners is seen as a useful and very important part of the tantric relationship and the tantric way of life, but it certainly does not replace the relationship with a main partner.

The practice of Tantric techniques and Kundalini techniques in particular by Tantric couples with other couples or singles who practice Tantra is part of the shared manifestation of their love and their spiritual and energetic qualities. Not only on a physical level, but also on a mental level and, above all, on an emotional level. Maha Kundalini Tantra sees the practice of MKT techniques by Tantric couples with other Tantric couples or singles almost as an “energetic must”.

It is the personal and inevitable responsibility of every person to find and carry out the right form of relationship that suits her or him. Every person is a unique energetic structure and needs a unique form of relationship. It is our energetic “duty” to increase our self-awareness and manifest the RIGHT FORM OF RELATIONSHIP. A relationship that increases harmony in and around us. A relationship that resonates from golden waves of Love, Kindness, Compassion and Tolerance. A relationship that creates, spreads, and manifests harmony.